One over 99.

Forewarning: you’re going to want to make your favorite cup of coffee & find a comfy spot because this is going to be a long read. It’s the thing I’m most passionate about, and you can tell cause…it’s almost 5 pages. :]

Sooo, my testimony. It all began when — well, when I began. I was raised in a Christian home, went to Christian preschool, and have been homeschooled since then. That being said, the Bible & Jesus were just kinda all around me. 

Then when I was about 5 years old, I told my mom that I wanted to be a Christian. We talked a little bit, then I “prayed the prayer” asking Jesus to come into my heart. When I was 9, I publicly professed my faith and was baptized. 

Up until a year or so ago, when I thought of a testimony, I thought it was just that. Boom. Boring. Bland.

Although it’s taken a little while, I’ve realized that’s not it. It’s so much more than that. 

I looked up the word testimony because I wanted to get a clearer explanation. Here’s the direct definition from Miriam Webster: “a public profession of religious experience”. 

I’m only 16. So I haven’t had very much experience or walked a very long road, BUT, 1 Timothy‬ ‭4:12‬ says “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 

That being said, my experience does matter.

I just recently came to grips with the fact that whether you’re 32, 16, or 105, it’s never over. Your testimony is never finished. We’re continually growing and constantly being molded and shaped to become more & more like Jesus.

So back to my story, after being baptized, I started out on what seemed like a hike up Mt. Everest. Thankfully I had my family alongside me every step of the way, but just like everyone, we really had to work hard to get up that mountain. In 2014 My dad left his job right after we had just sold our house to move to Colorado, and now we were stuck (definitely blessed don’t get me wrong) in a 1,200 sq foot cottage on a lake in Michigan. An hour away from our hometown. For 10 months. As a family of 8. (Nah, it’s not worth it to ask how we managed. It was ALL God.) As a Bible believing family we watched sermons every week, we’d all pray together, but I’m not sure if my faith was “my own” quite yet…if you know what I mean. 

Through lots and lots of tears we made it past that milestone. And when I look back I think to myself, wow. God came through like never before. We laughed together. We definitely cried together. We were just together. All. The. Time. We grew so close as a family during those 10 months. Yes, what felt like a marathon up that mountain was HARD. But we were one step closer to the summit. 

Then I set out on the next trek. To make a very long conversation (for another time) short, it has been my dream for about 9 years “to visit orphans and widows in their affliction”. (James 1:27) So 5 years ago it was finally time. I sewed—yes, needle and thread—my heart out & raised $5,000 just to hop on a 16 hour plane with my mama and our team, to care for orphans and widows in their distress. I was as THRILLED as a 12  year old could be. Until, well, until it was the day before we were supposed to leave (and my birthday eve none the less), until it was the hour I heard that there was civil unrest going on in the cities we would be visiting, until the minutes my parents went back and forth about my mom and I going (I was 13 at the time). Let’s just say it was a HARD day. I sobbed like never before. But again, when I look back I know God’s hand was all over it. There was a reason He prevented us from going. As hard as it was, I just had to trust there was something better in store for me. Sure enough, the following year I went on an incredible life-changing missions trip to the Dominican Republic (also a story for another time.) All this being said, not going to Ethiopia (a place so dear to my heart because this is where my siblings are from) was a big deal for me and I had to learn to REALLY lean into the Lord as my source of hope for the future. Sure enough, again, He showed up. And I made it through. ONLY because of the Him. 

I have learned SO much within the last 6 months. And I keep thinking of the verse, Romans 5:3-5 that says “…we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” 

As hard as some days might be, I have to give it to the Lord. Cause suffering produces endurance, which produces character, which produces hope. Which essentially grows us in Christ. 

All this being said I went from an innocent 5 year old who just wanted to ask Jesus into her heart, to a 9 year old who’s older sister and brother were getting baptized and it sounded cool to live for Jesus so I got baptized too, to an 11 year old who payed attention to the sermons and wrote notes but only somewhat understood Christianity, to a teenager who dove into faith a bit more, to an almost adult who’s got a better grip on what a disciple of Jesus looks like & how to live fully for Christ. 

Now before I end, I really don’t like blogs like these where all the person says is how they “made it through” and that was the end. No. That’s not what this will be. Friend, those in betweens are H. A. R. D. I’m in between right now. But theres something about looking back & remembering what God has done & how far He’s gotten you. I try remind myself quite often—we are not dealing with flesh and blood. We are in the midst of a battle of spiritual forces of evil. (Ephesians 6:12) So believe it today. Remain confident that we WILL see the goodness of the Lord. 

I’m still not sure I fully understand what a testimony is—or if what I’m writing is my “testimony”—but I think I’m getting there, bear with me. 

I believe part of being a Christian is not only reminding ourselves, but continuing to hold fast to what you believe in. Knowing what the Gospel is TRANSFORMS and honestly plays a role in the trajectory of our lives. J.D. Greear explains the Gospel as “Jesus in my place.” God sent down His perfect son, to die, for you & me. When I think about the Gospel, I think about the unconditional love of God, and how good his love is to us. He knew we needed a Savior, so He sent Jesus. And on that night in Gethsemane, He knew. His love saw us when we were the ones who sought to kill Him. His love broke through the barrier that seemed unbreakable. He willingly laid down His life for you and me. Jesus breathed his life in me before I took a breath, He sought me out before I even needed seeking, He found me before I was lost, I was His before I wasn’t, and He is still actively pursuing me today. 

Everything about this makes such a beautiful story, yet when I get to thinking about it, I sometimes can’t handle the vastness of it. I mean, the emotion alone can be too much! Sometimes I like to challenge myself to see how much I can think about it, and for how long. Most times I can only think for about 18 seconds before a smile takes over my face and I just give up. :] Isaiah 55:8-9 says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” 

When I think of “my walk”…or how Jesus saved ME, I always think back to Luke 15, when Jesus told the story of a shepherd who had a hundred sheep, but had lost one. The shepherd left all ninety-nine sheep in the open country, and went out to look for that one lost sheep, and when he found it, he joyfully put it on his shoulders, ran home and called his friends, and said “rejoice with me, I have found my lost sheep.” (Luke 15:6) In the same way, there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents of his sins, and comes to faith in Christ than the ninety-nine righteous people who don’t. 

Friend, He is seeking you today! He chases after each and every one of us—not until He finds us—but when we find Him. He never gave up on me, He won’t ever give up on you. In fact, just the other day I read 2 Peter 3:9 that says, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 

He wants us. He desires our attention. And He is willing to wait as long as it takes. 

Agh. Whew. Okay. I feel fired up. And I feel like I could go on forever. Now I know some of that is my testimony…maybe not all of it. But be encouraged today because Jesus loves and cares for you.